when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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