Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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