he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
