Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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