Say something about gay babies.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
