Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
