Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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