remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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