Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
