i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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