Having a random hookup so left but love u
She announced her abortion via fbk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Randomize
