If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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