i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
