hotel room ftw
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
