Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
