I wish my penis had an off switch
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
