he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
