yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
