No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Four minutes until I can fart!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
