So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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