I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
