no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
