Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
