I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
