youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
