You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
