New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
