wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
