My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
