no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
