when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just found a bag of teeth...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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