My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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