I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
