I'm so fucking centered right now
Me too!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
