i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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