My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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