Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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