we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
