im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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