East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
