my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We need a shit load of segways right now
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
