idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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