How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
