This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
