You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize
