take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
