just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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