Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
