i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I am one with the molecules
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
