bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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