It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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