doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
