you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
