I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
