I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
