please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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