I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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